Hospital Bed Rest: Day 5It's been a rough day emotionally. I'm almost through my 7 days of hospital bed rest and while I should be extremely happy that all has been going well and that I've made it to 24 weeks, the doctor hit me with a wallop this morning that I wasn't prepared to hear.
Originally, the plan for the immediate future was to go home Wednesday and remain on bed rest there for 2 weeks. However today the doctor said she recommends it last the duration of my pregnancy :(
Believe me, I know that every day this baby has to grow before being born is most important. So I am trying my best to focus on that and will do what I need to do. But that's not to say that this hasn't started to wear on my emotions.
I have 3 kids who are being well taken care of by my parents and who have barely skipped a beat with all these changes from their norm - the move, daddy not living with us, mommy being pregnant and now, in the hospital. They are nothing short of amazing. I am so grateful to have such flexible kiddos who adapt to challenges with ease. However sometimes the guilt overcomes me. Not being there to pack their lunch, put them to bed, make sure their homework is done. Not tucking them in, getting them off the bus or taking them to basketball practice. As their mom, that was my job. My priority. Yes, I had help when needed but knowing someone else - multiple people even - have to arrange their own every day schedules to accommodate for the things I am unable to do is sometimes hard to accept.
And then I start to think of all that I will miss out on these next few months while I'm laid up in bed. Celebrating birthdays, Thanksgiving, Christmas. Ethan's first basketball game, the majority of his first year of Scout activities. Even all the ordinary things that I'd be doing any given day - the boys bath time, taking them to the park (or out to eat or to the mall), running errands, organizing my life.
It's easy to start feeling down about it all, especially this time of year. But I'll manage. After all, it's only temporary...and most importantly it is needed to ensure the health of the new little gift that is meant for our family. Whatever sacrifices I have to make to get him here safely will be so very worth it.
So on that note I will stop feeling sorry for myself, put a smile on my face, and...take a nap.
PS - thanks mom for adjusting your life to handle mine. I know you wouldn't have it any other way but I just want you to know how much I appreciate all you do! Bet you thought you were finished raising 3 kids didn't you? Now you get to do it all over again with mine ;)