The grass ain't always greener...You've all heard the expression. 'The grass is always greener on the other side.' And sometimes it would be easy for my family to submit to the fact that things could always be easier. But we aren't going to. We're not the type.
Yes, we give Aiden breathing treatments with his nebulizer every 4 hours (or so) when he's got a cold that makes him all stuffy and nasally. Yes, we worry about whether we will make it to Christmas without a trip to the doctor or an overnight visit to the hospital for breathing difficulties. Yes, all of these things are a part of our regular, daily lives.
But we don't know anything different. And wishing for anything different is pointless.
Mother Theresa once said: "God doesn't give us anything we can't handle. I just wish he didn't trust me so much".
Sometimes I see the truth in that phrase. Other times, I actually believe it.
I would be lying if I said I didn't wish things could be "easier" for me. For my family. To worry about Ethan's role as a big brother - to wonder if he will always be strong enough to stand up for his brother (if he should need it) - is enough to break your heart. To realize that this is something you are up against as a parent is even more heartbreaking.
Being chosen for this path is humbling. I guess I'm strong. Or something along those lines. I'm certain that I will one day understand how lucky I am to be given this opportunity. But for now, I admit, I am still trying to figure out how I can make my life, and my children's, as normal as possible.
One thing I am sure of - I could sit here and say that some people have it better. I can dwell on the fact that others will never know my journey. Nobody will ever know how hard things have been for me. Well, 1 in 160,000 will, but that's not many. I can imagine how things "might have been", wish that things could have turned out differently, or might have aligned more with my expectations.
But sometimes folks, you just have to realize that you can approach life with the idea that life is always greener on the other side, or you can come to terms and accept the fact that sometimes - the green grass is that which you already stand upon.
It's all how you decide to interpret it.
I'm guessing you can figure out how I have decided to approach it.
This week anyway :)