November 10, 2008

Farewell old hands, hello fingers!

This moment is bittersweet. I am flooding in emotions as I prepare for Aiden's surgery tomorrow morning. It seemed like this day would never get here - and now that it is, I'm starting to get all sad and weepy thinking about how my perfect little Aiden is going to change so much in a matter of a couple of hours. His little hands, all curled up like a rosebud, are going to blossom into an actual thumb and fingers with Dr. Fearon's gentle touch. Of course I won't be able to see what it looks like until the casts come off on Dec. 3 (might be earlier for the feet). I've had dreams since his birth that his hands suddenly start to open up - fingers sprouting like they just had to continue the process of separation in their own time. And now, this surgery is going to make that dream come to life (well, sort of).

I keep thinking about his soft little feet. I'm going to miss those feet. The smooth, kissable little feet with stuck together toes. With the surgery and the casts and the healing, it might be a while before I get to kiss them again. And even though his feet will look more "normal" - they won't be the same untouched feet that God gave him. Bittersweet.

Aiden has spent many hours staring at his hands, then looking to mine in amazement and wonder with my fingers dancing around in front of him. I could see the wheels turning in his head - I just know he was thinking "Wow, what are those and where can I get me some?"

Well Aiden, tomorrow you will. But always know that I love you just the way God made you.






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