14 April 2009

Girls trip to Florida

Okay, if last night's post was any indication, I definitely needed some time away from all of the "tough stuff" I worry about on a daily basis. I try to stay positive about all of the things our family has on our plate - raising two kids so close in age, going from working full-time to part-time and then to becoming a stay-at-home mom, learning to understand Aiden's rare genetic disorder and becoming an advocate for his health and well-being - it is more than I ever bargained for when I thought about starting a family.

But as you saw, after being home from my lovely girls trip (aka "Mommy's mental vacation") just a few short days, the stress started settling in once again. I guess it would take much more than a one week escape plan to put out all of the fires we've got burning.

The week away, although entirely too short in my opinion, was a success for what we were trying to accomplish. My mom, aunt, sister, cousin, niece and I decided to pack our bags and head south for a week of refreshing ocean air, lazy days by the pool/beach and good company. We've all had our fair share of life stresses. So we jumped at the chance to put this trip together to get away from it all for a little while.

Although the weather could have been warmer, it didn't rain while we were down there so we were still able to enjoy a few *windy* days by the pool and in the sand. And the cooler temps were perfect for hitting the outlets and outdoor shopping malls.

It was hard for me to get used to eating meals without sharing, shopping without pushing a fussy toddler in a stroller, and being able to sleep 10 hours straight. Uninterrupted. And let me tell you, as soon as I got used to it, it was over! We had such a wonderful time and I don't know who benefited the most. I will say that each of us definitely needed (and deserved) to have this special "girl time". I just wish we could have stayed longer! I'm already day-dreaming about the opportunity for another get-away!

Once back home, reality set back in. We're trying to sell our house so that we can move to a subdivision close-by. I'm looking forward to living in a neighborhood for several reasons, but mostly because I've been feeling a little secluded on our 2.5 acres. Staying at home doesn't provide for a whole lot of adult conversation throughout the day, and even when we spend time outside, we have so much land between us and our neighbors that it isn't likely to "run into" other kids playing outside. Not like I did where I grew up. That is something that I want for my boys. I want them to be able to walk down a sidewalk to their friends house without the worry of cars racing by them on the street. I want them to be in a place where they can play tag in the culdesac until the street lights turn on and I yell for them to come inside. Most of all I want people to get to know my boys when they are little. It sounds a little silly but I feel like if we stay where we are now, then move when Aiden is a bit older, it will be harder for people to, I don't know, accept him. I feel like if we can settle into a family-oriented place where people can meet him in all of his baby-faced innocence, then maybe, just maybe it will help him to build lasting friendships that would be more difficult if he is thrown into a new group of people at an older age.

Anyway - these are just some of the things that we think about on a daily basis. I didn't mean for my post last night to sound so depressing. I just wanted it to sound honest. Going back and reading things from the beginning of my blog until now, I was shocked by how little I actually talk about the emotional struggles that we deal with day in and day out. I'm sure everyone can figure it out - I mean it's obvious that this is a rare situation to be dealing with. But I felt that I hadn't been totally forthcoming. I never want people to think that I sugar coat things. I want people to know that although most of the time, yes, we are very strong and we try to stay positive and we do love our life, the fact of the matter is that there are many days that I am scared out of my mind. Worried about my precious boys futures'. Stressed to the max from negotiating hospital bills, scheduling doctors appointments and all the while trying to tackle the ever-growing laundry pile.

So yeah, the trip to Florida was a much-needed retreat from life's daily grind. And I may have been a little down after diving back in head first from a week of relaxation. But if there is one thing that I want to make sure that all of my readers know - it's that no matter what life throws our way, Ricky and I have a very strong belief that God will guide us through it all. We have two very happy, healthy little boys that deserve nothing but the best. We will do anything and everything in our power to give them that. If that takes a couple of "Mommy Mental Vacations" a year, then so be it!

1 comment :

  1. Love the way you write Anne. You capture so well exactly what we/I go through too! I am still working part-time and struggle if I'm honest. Would rather be home with Ira and Edie- and we have the same thing- so many people think and tell us how amazing we are- but we go through a lot of ups and downs too and stressful times, questioning doctors, surgery timing, managing the finances, worrying that Edie is getting enough attention! It is lovely to see that other's face the same issues and that we're only human xx

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